Thursday, July 14, 2016

The Ups and Downs, The Facts and The Truth

It is a beautiful day here in northern Iowa and I am enjoying the warm breezes, open windows, and the birds singing.  I managed a very short walk around our cul-de-sac today and I checked on our flowers, before heading for the sofa.  We just returned from a trip to Minnesota where we stayed with our daughter, SIL, and grands. We had plans to visit Joel's family in Fergus Falls, friends in Fargo, an acquaintance in the ELCA synod office, and then friends and family on the way home. None of that happened for me, but Joel was able to take it all in except for the visits on the way home. I spent Monday and part of Tuesday doing little more than a few minutes of porch sitting and a lot of horizontal meditating!  Hugging on the kids and visiting with our daughter and son-in-love was a major blessing, as we digested my situation.

My present state of health is more than a little disturbing, but when I'm feeling concerned I remember what I read about "cancer-related fatigue".  I seem to be a textbook case.  Those are the facts, it helps answer the whys, but I can't dwell on it.  What I focus on is important as I move forward. I don't deny what is going on, but I refuse to partner with it.  It takes effort, but instead of focusing on what is happening, we pray, and I go back and remember what God's Word says and what He has promised me, and this gives me hope and confidence that this too will pass.  I focus on the truth, not the facts.  His Word is a great reminder that CRF is NOT bigger than my God. God is bigger than any problem any of us have. He is mighty to save.  He heals, protects, provides, and loves.  Oh how He loves us!  How great is our God!

The past couple of weeks our country has been in great turmoil.  So much blood shed, so many protests ending in violence, so many tears shed.  If one is affected, we are all affected.  We are concerned for our son who is identified as "black" and we are concerned for our son who is a "white" police officer. We are all affected in some way by what is happening around us, whether in our neighborhood or miles away.  We are all affected by what we see and hear.  The world seems to be flooded by fear, anger, hatred, disbelief, outrage and more.  It is more necessary than ever to remember how great our God is!

So, today, as I listen to the leaves rustling in the trees, the birds singing, a lawn mower as I quietly soak in the sunshine and all around beauty of the day, I rest on His promises and I give thanks for what I can do, and for the past few days of hugs and laughter, tears, and discussions with loved ones.  I remember playing cards with one grand, walking outside with another grand, and coloring on my phone app with yet another. I remember talking and listening, great meals around the table, and gathering around a computer screen to watch the movie "Inside Out". I remember to trust our Lord as I ask Him to protect our sons and heal our country.  And I remember the promises~ how great our God is!

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