Thursday, August 14, 2014

Radical Grace In Parenting

"This parenting gig is an experiment in radical grace
and the work of every parent is
 to fully give (love) to the child. 
And it’s the work of every child
to fully forgive the parents."
Ann Voskamp

Our oldest son has a great sense of humor.  He banters with us during phone conversations and yesterday's short call was no different.    I was talking to him about his dad being "obsessed" with figuring out his newly purchased refurbished laptop.  He was spending hours to get everything the way he wanted it...feeling some sense of control I expect.  I went to bed with him on the laptop....I woke up to him downstairs on the laptop!  I expect even if it takes 50 hours, he will be bonding with that piece of technology until he feels he has mastered it.  This is typical when he is dealing with something new.

Matt's response had me laughing.  "So that is where I get it.  Hmmmm  That is what I will tell my kids.  Don't blame me, blame your grandparents!"  He went on to say, "I have come to it late in life, but this blaming the parents is not such a bad thing!"  (giggle)

I can giggle at this, not because we were such great parents, but because I know he forgives us for the mistakes we made as his parents.  That is important, not so much for us, although it feels great, but for himself.  Unforgiveness sucks the life out of people.  Whether we are dealing with parents, others or even ourselves.  Unforgiveness and the blame game may be reasonable and understandable, but it is not Spiritual.  Forgetting might not be an option, but forgiving would be a necessity.  For healing.  For yourself and in obedience to God.  He knows what He is doing, trust Him. 

And laugh.....the way our son has laughed at those traits he picked up from mom and dad and the many mistakes we made....The way he speaks, with a twinkle in his eye, of using his parents as a buffer with his own kids.  Coming from a place of grace.

"Laugh that you lived and dance that you dared
and inhale that it all happened —
and it all was grace."
Ann Voskamp