Today's prompt from Bonnie over at Faith Barista is to write a letter to our self when we were a child. She asks us to write what we would say to her, knowing what we know now. This has been very difficult for me to do, although I am not sure of all the reasons why. I think partly because I still struggle with the need-for-approval demon and partly because I still am processing the raw memories that surfaced whiled reading Bonnie's book, "Finding Spiritual Whitespace". I have learned, though, that sometimes the only way out is through.
Dear Little Renee,
There are so many things I want to tell you, most importantly that you have a voice. A voice that is a force to be reckoned with. That even when the people around you were not listening, Someone was. Someone is. Jesus hears your voice and He delights in it. He believes what you say, Little Renee. Remember, you have a voice....
It also is very important that no matter how you feel, you know deep in your heart and soul that are not alone. Never, ever. Papa God has been with you since the day you were conceived as part of His creation. He has called you His beloved, and has never left your side. When it is just you in the skin-on-skin and you don't feel safe, you are still not alone. Jesus was with you in the silence, in the pain, the grief, the endless battles to combat fear. Jesus was with you crying when you cried, laughing when you laughed, urging you to climb up on His lap to rest. Jesus wants you to know that His lap is safe. Little Renee, He wants you to know that resting in His arms is a secure place to be and you can trust Him always. You are good at surviving, but you can be good at resting too. Resting meaning trusting. You can trust Papa God, Little Renee, He will not hurt you. He does not lie or break His promises.
What you have gone through does not have to be buried or hidden any longer. You do not have to pretend all is well or smile when you would rather frown. You do not have to make others happy by avoiding or ignoring your own pain. It is not your job to tell others they will be okay when your seven year old world is falling apart inside. Being strong is being truthful. You do not have to always be the good little girl because you believe that if you are good nothing bad will happen.
Here is what I know now in the latter years of my/our life. We are never alone. We have a voice worth listening to. There is power in our voice because Jesus with His power lives in us. We are important but not any more important than anyone else. We are amazing in God's eyes. We are enough. We. are. e.n.o.u.g.h. Being perfect is better left to Jesus. Papa God's joy is our strength. We are loved. Oh, yes, we are loved. So, we can rest. Just rest, just rest.
I am linking up with Bonnie over at Faith Barista